entry 7/4/25

hello. this is my first blog entry. im writing this on the fourth of july. im on the bus to my friends house in arlington. i took the train for about 15 minutes and now i have to take 2 busses for like an hour. i accidentally took the wrong bus when i got off the train, which especially sucks because i ran to catch it. once i realized, i had to get off and cross the street to catch the same bus line going the opposite direction. i dont have alot of money budgeted this month for fare so i usually fare evade busses. when i got on the orginal (wrong) bus, the driver didnt say anything. when i got on this bus the driver didnt say anything at first but a minute after me and the other passengers had sat down he was yelling "MA'AM! MA'AM! OH SO YOUR JUST GOING TO ACT LIKE YOU CANT HEAR ME?" at first i thought he was yelling at the other passengers because i didnt see them pay either, but when i looked up i realized people were staring at me. this was a weird experience because i do not think i am very feminine looking. idk maybe im wrong. that kind of hurt my feelings. but it probably kinda hurt his feelings that i didnt pay. i think both of our reasons for our feelings being hurt are kind of silly. so what if a stranger thinks im a girl? and so what if a stranger doesnt pay the fare on the bus you drive? not paying fare doesnt effect a bus drivers pay. getting misgendered doesnt effect my identity.